Author: Usha Krishnan
Some of the unique local customs of Malaysia are as
follows:
General observations
- Food
· Malaysians are highly sociable and love eating.
They are very eager for visitors to try and to enjoy local food. Food and
feasting play an important part in business and social transactions. Eat
heartily, and compliment the host on the food.
·
Do
not offer pork or pork products to Muslims. If entertaining Malay guests at
local restaurants, ensure that they are served halal food.
- Pointing, touching, gestures, interaction
·
It
is rude to point with the index finger. Pointing is done with the thumb resting
on a clenched fist. Pointing at people is unacceptable - even with the thumb.
To indicate someone, motion with the head.
·
Always
pass and receive items with the right hand or both hands, but never with your left hand (especially with the older generations) - the left is considered unclean.
Never beckon with the index finger; rather, if beckoning a taxi for example,
wave the entire hand palm down.
·
Men
must not rest their hand on the shoulders or back of a Malay woman, even if
helping them through a door.
·
Don't
be surprised if your local friends' children or nieces and nephews address you
as auntie or uncle. It is typically Malaysian or Asian to address anyone older
(more than a 20 year gap approximately) by this title. It would help endear you
to the locals as well if you practised this habit when addressing your friends'
elders.
·
However,
if the person is not that much older than you (or even if he /she is) it is
much more flattering to address the person as 'abang' (Malay for older brother) or 'kakak' (Malay for older sister). For a younger person use 'adik' (Malay for
younger sibling). This
is especially useful when you are out shopping; if you are looking to haggle
prices, this will definitely put you in that person's good books.
- On being invited to a Malaysian home
· Malaysians
are generally hospitable and you might find yourself getting invitations for
meals. However, if you don’t show up for one invitation after saying ‘yes’, the
host will hesitate to invite you again.
· They
consider your no-show as an insult. In non-western culture, it is a message to
show the host this: I am higher than you in my status, I don’t care about your
hospitality.
- As a guest in a Malaysian home
· Upon
entering a Malaysian home, one should remove one's shoes at the door. It may feel
awkward attending business functions in homes in socks or bare feet, but rest
assured that this is perfectly acceptable.
· If
you are invited to a Malaysian home, make sure that you acknowledge and show
respect to the elderly.
· Do
not be loud, avoid raucous laughter, and do not dominate conversations. Take
time to ask your hosts questions and show an interest in Malaysia.
· It
is always polite to bring a gift for the urban host, nothing too expensive or
fancy, maybe a box of chocolate, which the host's children will appreciate. If
there are no children, perhaps some fruits or biscuits. Fruits, especially
durians are great, if you can handle the smell.
- Behaviour in public
· Gay conduct is not well received and avoid
displays of passionate behavior between two sexes.
Malays
- Life for most
Malays revolves around the mosque and the times of daily prayer.
Non-Muslims are permitted to visit mosques, but they must be dressed
appropriately (long sleeves, knees covered). Women should cover their
heads. Shoes must be removed before entering. Avoid passing in front of
anyone in prayer.
- When meeting a Malay, the handshake should be light, almost limp.
The Malays often draw back their hand and touch their hearts. Do not shake
the hand of the opposite sex unless they first offer their hand. Avoid
looking intently at people when addressing them, particularly members of
the opposite sex. Malays who have studied abroad are well-acquainted with
western culture and will often give a firm handshake and look one squarely
in the eye.
- It is considered extremely offensive to touch the head of a person,
even in jest.
- On Fridays you will notice that they will dress in their
traditional outfits, the ladies in Baju Kurung and the men in Baju Melayu,
they will be pleased to explain the significance of doing this.
- They tend to eat with their fingers, be prepared to do the same but
they will not be offended if you choose to use a fork and spoon, do not be
afraid to ask, but you can attempt to eat with your fingers and be a
delightful source of entertainment for the evening.
- Their food tend to be quite spicy and rich with coconut milk and
mostly fried or deep fried, you have been warned.
Chinese
- Show up on
time for dinner invitations as the host will cook the vegetable dishes
only after the guests have arrived.
- Red is an
auspicious colour for them, it would be a nice gesture to wear red when
you visit them in their house.
- They eat
from communal spreads in the middle of the table, be prepared to see them
dipping their individual spoons or chopsticks into these common dishes
after putting their spoons or
chopsticks in their mouths. Again if you're uncomfortable with chopsticks,
do not be shy to ask for a fork and spoon.
- Chinese dishes
may be a combination of sea foods, meat, vegetables, and all kinds of
barks/seeds/leaves/pickled vegetables/fermented cooking ingredients. There is no
dog meat or cat meat. If you aren’t comfortable with some morsels which
you can’t identify its origin, don’t worry, eat it especially if it tastes
good.
Indians
- Unless they
are Muslims, they do not eat beef, and are mostly vegetarians so bear in
mind when eating out with them, to look out for vegetarian restaurants.
- Like Malay
food, their food is also quite rich and spicy and sometimes even more so.
Be forewarned. You can let your host know that you can't handle spicy
stuff. They will tone down the flavours but not by that much, be prepared
to drink lots of water.
That said, there are many Malaysians, especially
urbanites, who have studied or worked and lived abroad and have adopted a more
western mind-set. They may or may not adhere to any or all of the customs and
traditions mentioned above. So do not be surprised therefore, for example, if
you come across Muslims who drink alcohol or consume pork or Hindus or
Buddhists who consume beef or Catholics who consume meats on Fridays.
If you encounter Muslims who drink or eat pork
inside a house or in a very private function where the rest are open minded,
just pretend that you do not see and don’t ask any questions or make a big thing
out of it.
