By: Don
Miller (lived in Malaysia for over 30 years)
VERBAL
Laughter is
used as a great easer of discomfort. Sometimes the person laughing is not at
all happy. Do not be misled.
Jokes.
Western type jokes are seldom heard. Don’t
be surprised if your attempts to break the ice by telling a western joke don’t
work.
“Comparisons
are odious”. You may mentally compare things here with how they are back at home. “We have that too”. “Ours are bigger” or even “Ours are different”. Best to keep these thoughts to yourself. Of course it’s OK to say how good or nice the
Malaysian things are, but be very sparing with any negatives or comparisons.
Never take “Yes”
for an answer. Malaysians have a huge need to please and to be polite. This means
that they find it very difficult to say the word “No” to your request, even if
that is what they really mean. So they sometimes find themselves committing to
things that they already know are impossible. This always ends in miscommunications.
The need to
be polite also means that Malaysian will always reply “No” to all your invitations
or offers of help. You will have to repeat the invitation a number of times and
insist, before they will agree. And then of course they may only be saying
“Yes” to be polite. (Tricky isn’t it?)
Multilingual.
You won’t earn many brownie points if you say hello to a Chinese Malaysian
using the Bahasa Malaysia term “Selamat Pagi”. Similarly to an Indian
Malaysian. Better to start contact with a neutral “Hello”. If you can quickly figure out the ethnicity of
the person, and then use a simple Chinese or Indian phrase accordingly, they
will be very pleased. Ladies’ dressing
will generally tell you right away their ethnic roots, and even with men there are
dress clues.
Special
note to North Americans: Please try to say “Please” and “Thank You”, whenever
the opportunity arises. Thank You.
BEHAVIORAL
It’s OK for
you to complain about your own mother, or brother etc., but if someone else
also criticizes them, that is quite another thing, and you will get mad. And so
it is with Malaysia. OK for the locals to complain about the government, the
crazy drivers, the police etc. But don’t try to join in the fun.
Breaking
the ice with alcohol. A high proportion
of Malaysians have an adverse physical reaction to even small quantities of
alcohol – a bright red face or wild behavior.
This is due to the lack of hydrogenase, the enzyme which digests alcohol.
You will be
using your hands in close proximity to food and other materials. Your finger
nails should be kept as short as possible and trimmed twice weekly at least.
This includes ladies.
While
outside footwear is banned in the house, the tile or marble floors can be too
cold for the bare feet of some folk, and dedicated indoor house slippers may be
used.
AWARENESS
Conservative. Malaysians are generally more conservative,
even old fashioned. Strict disciplines
for children. No swearing even by adults. If food is
really spicy and you want to cool off, take something sweet. Water generally
does not help much.
To avoid
being bothered by mosquitos, take a bath after you sweat. While the
floors are kept “clean enough to eat off”, anything above the floor is frequently allowed to gather dust and dirt. No one can explain to me why this is so.
