Why You Should Learn To Listen Better Even If You Are ‘Just’ Interning
Interns who haven’t worked before often have problems doing their work with quality or completing a task properly because they ‘forget’ the supervisors’ instructions.
Interns who haven’t worked before often have problems doing their work with quality or completing a task properly because they ‘forget’ the supervisors’ instructions.
Here
are some funny clips from bad communication for not listening:
Communication Problems:
Video 1: Communication Skills
Video 2: Funny Bad Misunderstanding
Video 3: Sender/Receiver
Video 4: What Could Go Wrong??
People
Forget Much About What They Have Listened
The normal grown-ups listen at no better than 25%
productivity. Promptly in the wake of listening to a 10-point oral
presentation, the normal individual comprehends and recalls close to 50% of
information exchanged. One to two days after, short of what one fourth of
information exchanged will be recalled. On the off chance that a speaker talks
for more than 10 minutes, as regularly happens at classes, gatherings and
business gatherings, productivity in listening may well be short of 25%.
Listening
Is The Most Dismissed Correspondence Ability As Well As The Most Discriminating
Administration Expertise.
Workers
who don't know how to listen have cost organizations billions of dollars. Poor
listening regularly represents email that must be amended, shipments that must
be reshipped, miss-understandings, and the loss of essential customers.
The Correct Order
Writing, Reading,Speaking, Listening
In
our school each of these skills is been taught to us and we have been fully
engaged in it. The most taught skill was writing, but use it only 9%. And the
least taught skill is listening but this is the skill which we use 45% during
our communication. Listening is our most neglected communication skill. Few
people receive any training in how to listen.
Most
of us are very bad at listening because we aren’t taught this skill. But lack
of training isn’t the only problem. As children we learned bad habits from our
adult role models, especially parents and teachers. For example, we learned
that it’s acceptable to interrupt or change the subject although the other
person might still want to talk.
We
learned not to look at speakers, to finish peoples’ sentences for them, and to
be easily distracted. These are all bad listening habits that we observed
taking place between adults. And when it came to communication between adults
and children, it was even worse. We quickly got the message; children are seen
but not listened to.
Aspects
Of Listening
Listening
better, clips from:
Mteto Maphoyi
Julian Treasure
ATTENTION: A good listener will
take effort to pay attention to what is being said and poor ones will fake it
and let their minds wander.
INTEREST: A poor listener
convinces him/herself that the speaker or speech is uninteresting. A good listener
questions the usefulness of the speech and keeps up his/her interest no matter
how dull the speaker or speech is.
MOTIVATION: If one doesn't have
motivation, then no speaker can interest her. Good listeners know that
listening can have good values and this, with the right attitude, is enough to
motivate them
Attention
Most
people listen actively for about 17 seconds at a time. Giving your attention
doesn't come easily, you need to learn it.
Check list of what not-to-do just before determine how attentive a listener you are
Check list of what not-to-do just before determine how attentive a listener you are
- Are you easily distracted? (e.g., keep checking your smart phone or looking at your watch or your eyes darting around)
- Do you patronize the speaker by acting overly polite?
- Do you frequently catch yourself faking attention?
- Do you prematurely interrupt a discussion so you can make your point?
- Do you often tune people out so you can get some work done?
- Do you find yourself daydreaming, especially when the speaker is speaking slowly?
- Do you often find fault with what the speaker is saying?
- Do you catch yourself thinking of your own ideas before you respond to the speaker
Listening isn't any easy assignment, but through practice we can learn to overcome habits of attentiveness. This will help to bridge the communication gap.
Effective
Communication
To
get know more about ‘Effective Communication’ Tips, watch at this video:
Effective Listening Skills
Two way interaction (listening and speaking) from both sides
Effective Listening Skills
Two way interaction (listening and speaking) from both sides
- Presenting ideas in a logical order by the speaker
- Proper interpretation of information through open minded perception
- Communicating according to the purpose of the user
- Acknowledgement of conception by the listener(to assure the speaker that the message has been transferred as intended)
The Two Strongholds Of Listening
To Improving listening skills watch at this video:
Improving Listening Skills
SELECTING
Computing While Listening
- Selecting is carried out by noting the essential points mentally and therefore, addressing the important issues
- Helps in producing rational responses that are relevant to the topic
- Selecting also involves moving towards an optimum formula that acts as a key for the logical as well as the emotional concerns of the individuals
- The potential of selecting determines the capacity of the individual of simplifying complications and obtaining a meaningful and effective solution
- It is the process of organizing the main issues of the speaker and arranging them in a format which is brief yet explanatory
- Ordering is performed after selection
Ordering mainly involves knowing
the set of issues that bother the speaker and gathering them into distinct sets
where they are logically interconnected, whether there is one main concern or
many parallel concerns and whether the concerns coincide with your own position
on the issue.
Habits Will Change
- Once you develop the habit of consciously aiming to listen
- You will maintain better eye contact with the speaker
- You will discover you don’t often interrupt or change the subject until the speaker indicates the current subject has been exhausted
- You will find yourself asking relevant questions
- You will be more responsive and alert to what people are saying
- There will be fewer misunderstanding. You will have a conscious aim to listen
- You will be able to resolve disputes and settle grievances before they get out of hand
Learning
To Listen
Attitude Is The Most Important: Realise the
importance of listening and you should want to become better at this skill by
yourself. Without the right attitude, no change can ever be achievable
Learning: Just like a beginner
at anything, sport or activity, you must learn the techniques of good listening
Practice: Hone your skills just
like any artist has to. Trial and error till it becomes automatic. Listening is
handwork and there are physiological changes like increased in body
temperature, heart beats and blood circulation
Listen and You Shall Hear
Studies
show that the average person spends about 80 percent of his or her waking hours
engaged in communication. This communication times is divided among four
skills; listening, speaking, reading, and writing.
Do
you know how you divide your communication time among these four basic skills?
The
skills are listed in the chart below. Fill in the space below each skill with
the number you think represents the percent of communication time you devote
daily to each particular skill. For example, if you believe that the time you
spend communicating is divided evenly among all four skills, you would write
the number 25 in each column
Listening
|
Speaking
|
Reading
|
Writing
|
|
Percent
of daily communication time
|
The
amount of communication time that the average person spends every day on each
of the four skills divides this way: writing -9 per-cent; reading-16 percent;
speaking-30percent: and listening-45 percent.
It
comes as a surprise to most people that on the average we spend 45percent- or
nearly half- of our communication time listening
Listening
Applying All Five Senses- People convey their
message through body gestures as well. So, don't get distracted while speaker
is speaking.
Give The Person Time-After you have asked
the question, be quiet and wait for the speaker’s response. Don't speak or
interrupt till the time you have heard the answer.
Silence Is Golden- Being silent
indicates that you are ready to discover other party’s concerns, challenges and
point of view. Do consider silence as your best ally.
Take Notes- Take note of
everything while the speaker is speaking. What did you notice while listening
to the speaker, did the speaker strike you or not. You should encourage
yourself to mention such details to the speaker later, this will help you get
more information from the speaker.
Boost People To Talk About Themselves- People never get
tired of speaking about themselves. As listening can be the best compliment you
can pay a person. So start your reply with “I see’ or ‘Really?’ or “? “Ah…ha”
or “And them what happened?”
Don’ thinks Ahead- People can understand
that you are not interested just by judging your impatient gestures. So, don’t
think ahead, human mind moves faster than voice. Be patient while listening.
Practice Creative Listening- Don’t fake attention,
people can understand it. You need to ask questions, display appropriate body
language like nodding head and moving forward.
Active listening conveys the message that you are prepared to listen to
other side’s argument.
Doesn't Assume Too Much- We shouldn't make
assumptions. Assumptions are based on narrow-mindedness and pre-convinced
attitude. Assumptions are hypothetical and abstract conclusions.
LISTENING:
Not a Spectator Sport
Watch Your Posture
Posture
refers not only to the position of your body but also to your mental attitude.
Sitting upright makes you look and feel alert-with both body and mind ready to
listen. Communicate with the speaker by using body language- make eye contact.
Slouching in your seat is an awkward way to listen and discourteous to
speakers. It also suggests you’re tired, lazy, dejected or uninterested.
Resist Distractions
Many
distractions can be avoided. Don’t let your eyes-and ears-wander. Both external and internal distractions can
be avoided. Don’t think about any outside topics but instead concentrate on
listening. Such thoughts will diminish your attention when listening to a
speech.
Concentrate
Direct
all your thoughts and efforts to the speaker. Concentration requires your
exclusive attention and close mental application. Listening demands total
concentration. Listening is primarily an activity of the mind, not of the ear.
The human mind as an active processor of information and not a passive
receiver.
Filter Out Negative Reactions
Control
your emotions as you listen. Avoid reacting so strongly. To get the most out of
your listening, judge the content rather than the delivery of speeches. Focus
on finding out what information speakers are conveying in their speeches.
That’s how you learn from listening. Be alert for loaded words and expressions,
but listen also for the message that comes with them. Your own feelings can
block your understanding of something you may really need to hear.
Be Sensitive
Put
yourself in the speaker’s place and feel his or her feelings as though they’re
your own. Some people are able to concentrate so intensely that they can tune
out their surroundings entirely. For us to achieve such a high level of
concentration, we need to focus our attention completely on what we’re doing.
Freshen Up. Meditation is on way to improve.
Look For The Central Idea
Identifying
the speech structure helps to recognize the central idea -- the sum and
substance of the speaker’s message. That will enable you to pick out the
appropriate fact that relate to and support the central idea. Be on the lookout
for cues. Watch also for the summary that often comes at the end of a speech.
That gives you a chance to get an overall view of what the speaker has said and
to pick up ideas and relationship you may have missed the first time.
Take Few Notes
Trying
to take notes on everything you hear hinders good listening. Excessive
note-talking greatly interferes with listening by reducing concentration and
understanding. Jot down just a few ideas to help in learning and remembering.
Listen Between The Lines
Words
are accompanied by changing tones, volumes of voice, fluctuating facial
expressions, hand gestures and other body movements. Body language may
reinforce or contradict the speaker’s words. The meaning lies in the feelings
of speaker and listener, not in the words.
Listening
to Questions
THE
DO’s:
- Concentrate on the individual who is asking the question, and look directly at the person
- Listen for both the content and the intent. Listen for what is meant by the question. Listen between the lines sometimes helps understand the intent of the questioner better.
- Acknowledge the question when the audience is large. Repeat the question if the questioner cannot be heard by all.
- Answer the question clearly, specifically, and briefly. Don’t tell the individual more than is wanted. Be brief.
- Verify the listener’s satisfaction. Sometimes the listener can misinterpret the speaker’s meaning
- Always be ready to corroborate the evidence and data that you include in your answer to questions. Let individuals from different sides of the room or auditorium ask questions.
- After acknowledging the question with a nod, a ‘thank you’ or a ‘umhmm’, be sure to look out at the whole audience to answer every question. Keeps it moving? Get as many different individuals involved as possible.
- Treat two questions from the same person. Treat the double-barreled question as two separate questions
- Admit you don’t have an answer if you really don’t have one. There’s nothing wrong with not having all the answer. Be honest. Or say, ‘I don’t know but I‘ll find out for you.
- Be factual and accurate. Too often a quick answer, unsupported by specific evidence, misses the goal completely. Use names of people when possible and permissible
- Be factual and accurate. Too often a quick answer, unsupported by specific evidence, misses the goal completely. Use names of people when possible and permissible
- Don’t grade questions by telling a questioner, ‘Oh, that’s a good question’. Simply answer the question.
- Don’t argue with anyone. State your response and end it there.
- Don’t allow one person to keep asking question after question. One or two questions from the same person are enough. Simply say, ’many others have questions. I’ll get back to you if there’s time’. Always be friendly.
- Be careful never to begin your answer to a question with any of the phrases from the questioner, you may unintentionally insult or embarrass the questioner and the audience.
- Don’t put your hands on your hips while you are speaking but especially while you are answering questions. This may be interpreted by the audience as talking down to them.
- Keep a friendly face and a pleasant voice. Don’t point one finger at your audience while you are speaking. It’s a scolding pose and preachy.
Professional Tips For Answering Questions And Objections
- Look- Be genuine and have active consideration to the person who is talking to you.
- Ask open-minded questions. Ask questions related to the topics. You can help a person to open up by asking him/her a question.
- Don't Interrupt- Always let the other person finishes his/her ideas or sentences, never interrupt the speaker in between.
- Don't change the topic to show you care about what he/she was saying to prevent negative impression.
- Receptiveness pays off- You should be responsive to the speaker. Smile, nod, frown in sympathy. Interrupt the speaker only if you need clarification
Taboos For Question And Answer Session
- Don’t grade questions by telling a questioner, ‘oh, that’s a good question’. Simply answer the question.
- Don’t argue with anyone. You only lose ground, when you argue. Just state your response and end it there.
- Don’t allow one person to keep asking question after question. One or two questions from the same person are enough. Say, “Many others have questions. I’ll get back to you if there’s time”. Always be friendly.
- Never begin your answer to a question with any of the following, “Well obviously….,’’ “ as I said in my talk….,’ ’As I said…’ These are all put down phrases and may unintentionally insult or embarrass the questioner and the audience.
- Don’t put your hands on your hips while you are speaking but especially while you are answering questions. This may be wrongly interpreted by the audience as talking down to them.
- Keep a friendly face and a pleasant voice for best results. Don’t point one finger at your audience while you are speaking. It’s a scolding pose and preachy.
The Way To Process You’re Listening
- Formulate yourself- Ask your self-questions to build up listening Skills
- Recall that words are symbols- Don't let mispronounced words distract you
Three Lines Of Thought
- This will help you translate a speaker’s style into your own terms.
- What claims is the speaker making?
- What clues can I draw from, what I know about the speaker’s reputation?
A Few Styles And Possible Initial Assessments
Anecdotal
- I can expect jokes or pointed stories. Maybe I’ll be entertained
- I’ll have to pay close attention to vocabulary and logic and may have to decode long, involved sentences. Mustn’t let myself get side-tracked.
- I may need to adjust my frame of reference during the talk to meet challenges to cherished ideals or habits.
- Obviously the speaker has strong convictions about the subject, but what supporting evidence will he or she provide?
Here are some listening skills exercises video:
